Greetings! Is it a bird? Is it a plane? (Oh wait, that's already taken ;) No -- it's Johnny Storm, your friendly neighborhood HUMAN TORCH!! (Oops -- I guess 'friendly neighborhood' is taken too ;)  One minute a regular guy (well, actually, a pretty amazing guy if I do say so myself!!! ;) -- the next, I'm a regular SUPERHERO!  Like something out of an old matinee serial:  "MARVEL as the HUMAN TORCH turns himself into a BALL OF FLAME!!  BE AMAZED at the HUMAN FIREBALL's FEATS of DERRING-DO!!  GASP as he leaves a FIERY TRAIL across the SKY!!"  Hey, what can I say?  I always wanted to be famous for more than being a plain old shuttle pilot -- and who can claim to be more famous than an honest-to-God superhero like me??  Of course, I couldn't have done it without the rest of The Fantastic Four... Okay, so I didn't come up with that name, but I humbly take credit for giving us all our superhero names: not sure Reed feels as good as he should about 'Mister Fantastic' (something I'd been calling myself for years before I became The Human Torch ;), but what else would you call my sister if not Invisible Girl???!!!  And as for Ben, well... every team needs a mascot.  Looks like old rock-face might come in handy after all.  Something tells me The Fantastic Four is going to be a hell of a team... The adventure... the accolades... the adulation... the hot babes...  I'm so excited I could burst into flame!!

YOU ARE NOT GOING TO BELIEVE THIS!!! But I gotta tell you anyway: I'M THE HUMAN TORCH!! That's right, folks, Johnny Storm went through the looking glass -- a big old cosmic storm full of God knows what -- and now I can burst into flame, literally ignite, and not feel a thing.  Wait till you see it -- and it won't be long, I'm gonna be all over the TV first chance I get!  I don't know how it happened, but I gotta tell you -- it's pretty righteous.  I had no idea what was going on until this fine nurse in Victor's private medical facility told me I was hot -- hey, she wasn't so bad herself ;) -- so hot I was on fire.  And I was!!  Figures, huh?  I'm always being called a hot-head, hot tempered, fiery personality, getting into heated situations... well guess what, folks?  I'm the Human Torch.  And I'm not the only one who came through that gas cloud with some new tricks: my sister Sue can turn herself invisible just as easily as I can set myself on fire.  Reed (who seems to have the hots for Sue again, God help me) can stretch more than his imagination -- he can stretch his arms and legs and head and God knows what about as far as he wants to.  And as for Ben... he's got the strength of the Hulk and a body like crazy paving.  He doesn't seem that into it, but it's like I said -- he wasn't that great looking to begin with ;)  Only Victor's a mystery -- he doesn't seem to have been affected by it.  Maybe time will tell if he's the only one to come out of this without changing.  Which is a shame: he could sure use a makeover.

WHAT A DAY!!!!!  As if it wasn't bad enough that the horrific events took place in London yesterday, I had to miss Jason's poker game, Reed insisted I went to bed at 5 O'CLOCK because the launch was at 2am and he wanted us all fresh... Then the car came to pick me up, and we went through what seemed (to me, anyway) like Simulation #105, but was, in fact, the actual launch.  The only difference to me was that there were actual stars outside the window, instead of the simulated stars of the Von Doom Industries sim room.  A walk in the park...  A perfect rendez-vous with the space station (if I do say so myself), and I actually started thinking "Hey, we'll be back in time for The Simpsons."  And then... son of a BITCH!!!  Reed flies into a blind panic because the cloud he's pointed me at starts to move, or speed up, or something... and I'm just thinking "Get Ben back inside!" cos he was doing a spacewalk at that point.  Victor was ready to hang him out to dry, Reed fell apart so fast people got hit by the shrapnel, Sue was caught between a rock and a hard place... so guess who had to keep his head?  Yep, you guessed it -- Johnny Storm.  See, Ben thinks I don't like him.  And in a way, he's right.  I don't just like him.  I love the son of a bitch.  And there's no way I was gonna leave him floating in a most p-peculiar way in a Major Tom stylee, when all I had to do was delay the order to raise the shields and pull him back on board.  He'll be okay.  He will.  Ben's strong.  Solid as a rock.  Funny, though... we weren't s'posed to write this week's blogs until after we passed through the cloud, but Ben insisted on writing his before he went out for his disastrous spacewalk.  I can't wait to get home to read it...

In space, no one can hear you scream, they say -- and just as well, cos right now I'm SCREAMING with anticipation!!!!!!!  What's wrong with everyone??? Reed is acting like everyone's dad... Sue is so worried about him she glazes over every time you try to talk about anything but Reed, Reed, Reed... Ben isn't any fun anymore and as for Victor, well... you can feel the electricity when he, Reed and sis -- I mean Sue -- are in the same room together.  Talking of glazing over... that's how I feel when Mr Reed "I've got a carbon rod up my ass" Richards talks about the mission.  Where's the excitement?  Where's the sense of adventure??  I think he had it surgically removed back in college -- the way he talks you'd think he was about to set off on a drive across country to visit his parents, not a stupendously exciting journey into the depths of space!!!  Did you see him on Larry King Live?  Unbelievable!!!  I'm so glad I did MTV's TRL instead... Come on, Richards, lighten up!!  We're going to push the envelope!  One small step for Johnny Storm, one giant leap for mankind!  Space, the final frontier!!  Not setting off on a cross-country car journey in a station wagon!!!  Lighten up, Richards -- it's not rocket science!